Bedtime prayers are something we do every night around here, and it was certainly pretty special when the boys both started saying them on their own. We encourage them to not just say something by rote, but to actually think about what they are thankful for, or what they want to talk to Jesus about.
Of course, sometimes this backfires…
Tucker: “Dear Jesus, please please pleeeeease don’t let Coltrane have any dragons. Amen.”
The worst part is I’m not sure if it was totally innocent choice of finger, or if he actually meant to give me the finger.
Not that he knows what it means, but I think he may have picked up that it means something that makes Mama and Dada look at one another wide-eyed and then talk in code…
Me: But where is your power ring? You can’t be a Green Lantern without a power ring!
Tucker [giving “the finger”, pixelated]: Here’s my power ring.
Poor kid. Now I want to take him to Chuck E. Cheese just to make up for the Geico Gecko not being real…
“Yeah? Where did you hear that?”
“It was in a commercial!”
“Oh. Listen, Tucker, here’s the thing about commercials… they–”
“I already know commercials aren’t real, Dada. Geckos don’t talk and drive cars either.”
Happy that Coltrane is talking enough now that he’s starting to contribute to these things. Even if I do have to wash his mouth out with soap now.
“Oh no. No no no no. Where did he learn that!? He’s only two!”
“Anna is going to KILL ME.”
“What do I do? WHAT DO I–”
“We all fall down!” *THUMP!*
“Oh. Well, carry on then.”
“Hehehe. Okay Dada.”
How do you know you’re a modern day parent? When your 4-year-old already knows these things.
“How do you know that?”
“I can’t get Netflix to work.”
“Well… okay. I’ll go up to the office and take a look to see what’s wrong.”
“Just unplug it, wait a minute, and then plug it in again!”
My son, the dreamer.
“Oh? What was it about?”
“I was on a playdate with Jesus. We went to my cousins’ house, and watched their turtle. Then it was time for lunch, and we had cheesy quesadillas! Only, there was only one quesadilla for everyone, so Jesus used his powers to make one hundred quesadillas!”
“Wow, Tuck, that’s a really great dream.”
“I know, that’s what I told you already.”
Dada, can we talk about our day?
Okay. Well, this morning, we went to the store looking for something. Do you remember what it was?
No no no, that’s not what we did.
No, we went on a rocket ship to the moon!
Yes, and we met a robot. And he had four faces. One of them was happy and one was sad and one was angry and one was scared.
And then we had pizza for lunch, but the robot said “I don’t like pizza!” so we gave him a bird, but he said “I don’t like birds–“
Wait, birds? To eat?
Yes. And then we gave him, uh… ceiling. And he liked ceiling.
Okay. THEN what happened?
Well, then we came home from space back to earth. And had nap-time.
That sounds nice.
But when I woke up from nap-time THERE WAS A SURPRISE PARTY!
WOW! Who was the surprise party for?
Um… the ceiling.
Again with the ceiling?
What did you buy, Dada?
I can’t tell you.
Is it a surprise for me?
Is it for me for my birthday!?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, Tucker, or it wouldn’t be a surprise any more.
Is it a new car?
A new car?! I told you, I can’t tell you what it is. But do you really think I’d buy you your own car for your birthday?
No… but now I think I know what it is.
You do, huh?
Yes. It’s fish sticks.
Yes. IS it fish sticks?
No. No, it is not fish sticks.
But I’m getting closer, right?
Well… yes… I suppose fish sticks is closer than a new car.
Okay. Hmm… not fish sticks… is it… a TREE?
A… a tree? No, I did not get you a tree.
Is it… a sign?
A sign? What? Are… are you just naming things you see outside the window right now?
Well, it’s nothing you can see out the window.
I still think maybe it’s fish sticks.
Dada, I need my Super Tucker cape, so I can be Super Tucker. And I need your phone.
My . . . phone? Why?
I need to change into Super Tucker in the phone! Like Superman!
Oh. Haha! Here, you hold my phone above your head . . . yeah, like that . . . and I’ll tie on your cape . . . There you go.
Thank you. Now I need something really heavy to pick up and throw. To show I’m Super Strong.
Um . . . Well. Hmm. I don’t want you breaking anything, or hurting Coltrane.
Super Tucker is Super Careful, Dada.